Head above water...

Summer in the City

2011-06-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

What a blogslacker I am! It has been a few months but I have returned! I'm sitting in silence...my children are with their dad for a few weeks due to the visitation schedule change for the summer. I am and have been thinking a lot about friends lately. I know everyone is super busy but I am feeling forgotten about. Mentally, I'm doing pretty well but I do miss my friends. I hope they are finding happiness in their lives with their families and activities. I have this unsettled feeling that I am really irritating to some of them.
SO...things that have changed in the last 3 months: taken up hiking (thank you Katie!) Zumba and more yoga in place of sitting on bum in front of computer. Spending time with the kids at the pool after work nearly each day. Bad for skin, good for psyche. We've already used up 3 cans of sunscreen. Do not care what others may think about my rotundness in a swimsuit...just enjoying the sun, the water and my kids.
Got to experience a raw food/vegan restaurant (thanks Dan!) the other night. It totally blew my expectations. I though, yeah, I'll try it and it might be all right and then we'll have to make a Taco Bell run but I was seriously wrong! The food was delicious and very filling and extremely healthy. I will definitely go back. I felt all sort of cleansed afterward (no bathrooms were harmed in this experience) and uplifted. Very weird way to feel after dinner but good! Am thinking I need to get my hands on a cookbook of that sort....(mom, you would LOVE it.)
Started a blanket for myself and working on a witch costume for a friend. Keeping those hands busy! I am determined to have an excellent week in spite of my job---pray for me (ugh!)

Emily Post

2011-03-16T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this is just as irritating to everyone else out there but I really can't stand it when, while driving in the left hand lane at mock 2, those you come up behind refuse to let you pass. And, of course, they're going the speed limit or several miles under it...and invariably have Idaho license plates. I have this reoccurring fantasy of having a bazooka mounted on the roof of my car expressly for the purpose of removing these individuals from the road. A little extreme perhaps but it's all about manners. Scoop your dog's poop and let people pass, dammit.

I am emitting gleeful noises in anticipation of Def Leppard's arrival Aug. 31 during their summer tour. Can't wait! Am thinking that an early arrival will eliminate back row issue even if it is 110 and my deodorant fails. Someday will be rich enough to afford expensive reserved seats and actually SEE the band but for now will enjoy the grass, picnic-like general admission area. Except for the idiots in front of us that get drunk and think it's ok to "mess around" in front of everyone. I mean, puh-lease! Get under a blanket at least! ;) Perhaps a slushing is in order...

Move over, Sigmund...

2011-02-18T17:43:00.000-08:00

I had this sort of epiphany while driving home from work today. I've been trying to put into words how I feel about a recent breakup and some song lyrics popped into my head. They were so fitting that I almost jumped up and down (difficult to do in one's car.)

"Get Over Yourself" by Eden's Crush
Yeah I was right there like the little wife
I was everything that you need always in line
I was living you, loving you, filling your desires
But that was then, this is now, look me in the eye

If love could chose sides
It's taken mine, so

Get over yourself, goodbye
It must be hard to be you, yeah, living in your life
I was always the one to cry
Now everything everything everything is all right
Get over yourself! Know why?
Cuz without you see I do anything I like
Sometimes I stay out all night
And everything everything everything is all right.

There are more lyrics to the song but I think the first part gets the point across quite well. I also had another realization about the person I was with. I'm no psychiatrist but I do believe he is a Clinical Narcissist. The Mayo Clinic defines Clinical Narcissism as:

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

Believing that you're better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

I guess the reason I'm so jazzed about all this is because it helps me define what was confusing about this person before. Hopefully it will help me with relationships in the future.

Black Hole

2011-02-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

It's only been a short while since my divorce (4 months) and on this Valentine's Day my ex is getting remarried. One does not wish ill on their friends in good, committed relationships and marriages but sometimes reading "I have the best husband/wife ever!!!" gets a bit old when one isn't also participating in one. The logical part of me is so very very happy for my wonderful friends and their families. But my heart feels like it's been sucked into a black hole.

I think I am a decent person. I think God has blessed me with some wonderful talents, blessings, and of course my children. I know I am capable of whatever I set my mind to (I gave birth without and epidural...I can do anything!!!) I also think I have a lot to offer someone. So why is it that while I have given my heart away in either marriage or in relationships it isn't returned? Why does my reservoir feel constantly emptied and never filled?

I am moving forward. I want to get my life on an even keel but every now and then that black hole just shows up and wreaks havoc. I don't want to seem whiny and depressed. I don't want to feel sorry for myself. It's good to get all this out of my system even though I seem like a bitter old biddy. Those horrible screaming voices that tell me I'm not worth anything and I'll never be anything to anyone have started weaseling their way back into my head after a long time of forced seclusion. I know that I am worth something to me and to God. I think it's back to some deep reflection and prayer before I pick up any other bad habits.

...and when I die I expect to find Him laughing...

2011-02-11T17:54:00.000-08:00

I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a sense of humor. Today I had to go into work later than usual because of Rowan's 9:30 ballet class which meant I stayed later than usual. Today's amusements consisted of me cleaning the Laundry Room and Basement Bathroom and then tending to Wesley. Both of those rooms are portholes into hell covered with black mold, feces, dirt, grime, etc. I prayed before I went to work that the day would go by quickly so I could get to other things to take my mind off the daily horrors. Needless to say, the day dragged. After pulling out the dead washer and dryer I removed as much of the mold off the walls as I could and then cleaned the floors with one of those dual spinny brush power scrubbers from 1963. But that time the floor was covered in mud...the liquid floor cleaner mixed with whatever was already festering there. I wiped up all the gunk and then said 'no more.' Couldn't handle any more yuck. Headed upstairs where more dishes, dirty items and poop on the wall needed tending to. Wesley got home from school and fell asleep before we could tend to his ostomy bag so it gurgled and farted while cleaned up the living room. I didn't throw up today but came close a couple of times. Then FINALLY it was time to go home (yay!) and had my first In-n-Out burger since it came to Northern Utah. Was feeling pretty good and then arrived home to the disaster my children created. No biggie...dinner first, clean later. Hmmm...my fingers were hurting. Fetched the super glue to patch up the cracks in my hands where the skin had split and bled. Then, immediately forgetting that I had glue on my hands, put my finger in my mouth to lick peanut butter off and got SUPER GLUE ON MY TONGUE.

Yes, blogfans, I got super glue on my tongue. Only me, right? It actually came off pretty easily but not before a ran amok for 30 seconds wringing my hands and waggling my tongue like a lunatic. The visual there is just too much for words, I think. The moral of this story is...just when you think your day is crap put some glue on your tongue. It provides much needed distraction and potential entertainment for your loved ones.

Forward ho!!!

2011-02-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

Another morning, another day and I am still breathing. I feel lighter though. I can only control how I feel, how I react to others. Shall I choose misery and sadness? NO NO NO! I shall not allow the unhappiness of others to take away any moments for happiness from me.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life blah blah blah..."

The other night while doing dishes with the children we cranked up Karch's ipod and boogied our way through the work. There's nothing better for getting the blood pumping than listening to Rush and Def Leppard while doing chores. Of course we had to bump bums while we were at it. Those kind of moments make all the hard times worth it. It was all pure, unblemished fun punctuated by the smiles of my children.

Ok, now a pity party...

2011-02-06T21:11:00.001-08:00

"I would NEVER do that..."

Sound familiar? Going through experiences that challenge us and finding out that sometimes we DO do that I hope only give us more empathy for the human race. There but for the Grace of God, go I. I have found myself to be much less judgmental than the person I was even 2 or 3 years ago because I've found myself in a position of doing things I never ever thought I would. I have arrived at the conclusion that either I can be embarrassed about it all and try to forget it or I can learn from it. Now when I hear about someone else going through the same thing I try to imagine the difficulties they are facing and empathize with them. The last time I checked I was still human and so are they. There's not much difference (except for bra size, I imagine...)

Am I the only person in the world that has suffered a broken heart? No, though it feels like it. Where there was such hope, there is now discouragement. Where there was promise, there are now ashes. Will the world still turn? Yep. The sun will rise, the cows will flatulate. Each day will come and I will go on. I'm sick of being sad! I'm sick of my own tears. I'm sick of the slashes on my heart. I'm sick of all the hurt. Don't you just wish you could shake some sense into some people? I think that's what my close friends wished they could do with me. Unfortunately, I always have to learn the hard way and at the expense of my shredded, dehydrated heart. I need to go shoe shopping...

...Walking through the park and reminiscing...

2011-02-05T20:46:00.000-08:00

"Here we are at Peter's Doughnuts." Excerpt from Bob and Doug Mckenzie's Great White North album that frequently pops into my head.
Today I celebrated my baby's 4th birthday with my children. I think she had a good time---she got her ears pierced (I had nothing to do with that decision) and got to go to birthday breakfast with me, her sibs, her dad, uncle and paternal g-parents. Tonight she had chocolate cake with mint chip ice cream and went to bed having a tantrum which must mean she was pretty tuckered out. It seems like only yesterday that I was pushing that little bundle of energy out of me (sans epidural all for the experience of knowing that I could.) The first words out of my mouth after she came out were "THAT TOTALLY SUCKED!" I know... so poetic. The scientologists would be disappointed in me for not having a more silent experience. But she was so cute...tons of hair and teeny. She ended up being the smallest of my four which earned her the nickname Pixie-Poo. I do hope and pray that I can be a good mother to her (and the others for that matter.) She is highly sensitive, like me, and sneaky just like her older brother Liam. I swear those two could easily form their own recon outfit. Man, I wish kids came with instruction manuals...

New new new...

2011-01-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

I realized that I still have this blog going and the last time I posted was 16 months ago. A lot has happened during that time, most of you already know the major parts. For those of you that don't or that (thank you) don't listen to gossip these are the stats: divorced, living in apt. and as of last Monday, lost car. It would be very very easy to curl up into a fetal position and wish everything away but no. This is my refining time. I guess the challenges I had before weren't enough to see what I'm made of. I am striving with ever cell in my being to move forward and at least act happy. I am at a place mentally where old very bad habits are trying to weasel their way back into my life. I worked so hard to get rid of those negative voices in my head and now they're rearing their ugly heads again. ARRRG! I don't want to blog about my pity party...that's not interesting to read so I'll try and change angles.

Vomitimus maximus!!! That should be the theme of my workplace. Each day is rated by whether or not I have the urge to or actually barf. There are only so many horrid smells and visuals one can experience before one's body goes into "reject all current contents"mode. I just keep on keepin' on and try not to think about it too hard. I am thankful for my job! I am thankful for my job! But really, I need a new one.
I am grateful that my children are with me and (relatively) healthy. I'm grateful that my job has allowed me some flexibility so that when there is an emergency I can take care of it and not worry about being fired but the actual working conditions are taking a toll on my health. Someday...

I am looking forward to the New Adventures of Old Kendall and a new perspective on life. Don't worry, I'm sure my sense of humor will return eventually! ;)

IF IT'S TOO LOUD YOU'RE TOO OLD

2009-08-26T07:50:00.000-07:00

Last night we attended the Def Leppard concert out at the Usana Amphitheater in WVC. I had one of the best times ever not so much because of why we were there but who we were there with. Our good friends, Tristan and Allison, attended with us and reminded me of what it felt like to have fun again. The concert started off slightly tense because the traffic from 2700 West all the way out to the show was so bad it took us probably 45 minutes to drive 3 or 4 miles. Needless to say we missed Cheap Trick who opened the show. After arriving the next order of business was to secure some chow so Allie and I did the deed and stood in line for several days. Poison was the next band up and we missed about half of them (yes, Ben, they played "Unskinny Bop!") but really, who cares? The openers were not why we were there. Usana has a big reserved seat section in the front and a massive grass area in the rear which is where we were. We parked ourselves behind a group of women who turned out to be almost as entertaining as the band. Two of them, who shall remain nameless mainly because we never found out what they were, dressed as 80s era teenyboppers complete with leg warmers, ripped t-shirts and truly horrific makeup. They had written pithy messages on their behinds with puff paint; something about rock and roll and kissing said behind. One of them was celebrating her 37th birthday so it was no surprise when the party favors came out (namely cinnamon shnapps and something else I never figured out. Quite a loosening of inhibitions followed with elegant and romantic displays of freaking and body shots. One of their companions, aka Miz Bumpandgrind, featured us with an uncoordinated and slightly disturbing series of pelvic gyrations that made me laugh so hard I nearly wet my pants. We had a fun time and props to Tristan who came with us even though he was unfamiliar with the band and what they sang other than 3 or 4 classics that now even end up on Muzak stations around the world.

Usana is notorious for having one of the worst parking areas to get out of. Last time we were there it took us an hour to just get out. So we high-tailed it back to the car when the concert ended and thought we were making great time. This time it only took us a half an hour. As we sat idling in the 7th level of parking lot hell, Tristan began questioning everyone that walked passed: "DID YOU GUYS ROCK?" Each inquiry was punctuated with the traditional rock on finger salute and what we found out was that most people were happy to tell us that YES THEY DID! It got quite raucous in the car and people must have thought we'd been drinking (not a drop.) Our popularity in the parking lot rose considerably and we were invited to 2 different after parties and flashed once. With all of the yelling and laughing and honking, we must have been quite a sight to others...a bunch of 40 year olds in a Suburban asking everyone if they rocked or not. (Sorry, Allie's only 33.) It was awesome to see people respond positively to the hilariousness that is Tristan and get caught up in the fun we were having. All of this energy along with a brief stop at a 7-11 also caused enough distraction to get us slightly turned around on the way home and instead of heading back to the freeway we ended up at the Bingham Copper Mine. Oops. East, Blair go east! This morning I feel strung out, my throat is killing me from all of the screaming and laughing and I suspect there may be footage of us somewhere on Youtube. It was so much fun and I sooooo needed to be reminded what fun is. Thanks guys--I love you.

Grey's Anatomy?

2009-03-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have been seriously slacking in the blogging dept. Everyone, in some combination or another, has been sick (including myself ) so blogging has taken a backseat on the priority list. What is with all of the viral crap that's going around? I think we picked up one of those "superbugs" everyone talks about. Now here's a puzzler...what kind of name should one give a superbug? It's certainly super at making phlegm. And sore throats. How about "Astro Phlegm" and his trusty sidekicks "The Booger Brigade?" Or possibly, "The Fabulous Fever Five" featuring "Cough-Up-A-Lung-Boy?" I mean, really, if we have to endure these superbugs we might as well try to have a sense of humor about the whole mess. Normally, our catch-all reason for mysterious illnesses is "it must be a tapeworm." I don't think it's a tapeworm, Toto. Did you know that they actually used to sell tapeworms as a form of weight loss? I would rather go for a slight case of dysentery myself, but that's another blog for another day.

Speaking of tapeworms, I was watching a show on Discovery Health about being eaten alive. Actually, it was about people that had travelled to other parts of the world and for whatever reason picked up some sort of parasite. Now, talk about ewwwwwwwwwwww! Makes me want to never set foot outside my door. These parasites ranged from our pal, the tapeworm to parasitic fish, Giardia, worms under the skin, Bott fly larvae and others equally as entertaining. The show was akin to watching a horrible car wreck; you didn't want to see it but couldn't look away. The most valuable thing I learned was for mainly men. Boys, if you ever go swimming in the Amazon make sure you don't pee in it. A certain type of parasitic fish is attracted to it and swims up the urethra where it checks in to it's fabulous golf and day-spa accommodations and never wants to leave. Ugh!

Sibling Rivalry

2009-01-07T11:34:00.001-08:00

I am firmly convinced that there is no other sound in this world that parents fear more than that of 200 mph vomit hitting the carpet at 4am. Such was the case last night (or this morning for you sticklers) with our baby girl Rowan. It doesn't matter what time of night it is or if you are sound asleep or dozing; the sound levitates you out of bed quicker than Crisco on a Slip n Slide. Rowan, like the sweet, well-mannered child she is even waited until she'd gotten out of bed, padded into Mom and Dad's room and climbed up on the blanket chest at the foot of our bed. Then in an Oscar worthy performance, opened her mouth and in a brilliant technicolor yawn baptized the new comforter on the bed.
Now, where to find the silver lining here? I guess I should be thankful that she didn't leave a trail down the hall or throw up on her sister. She didn't even cry or whimper. Thus, our evening of solitude and rest had come to an end as several more similar incidents followed.
We went to my parent's house for Christmas a few weeks ago and on the way home (about 20 min. in to the trip) Karch expressed himself into an empty Taco Bell bag in the car. We had to pull off the highway to the abandoned "Dingus McGees" restaurant (I wonder who approves local business names and actually issues them a liquor license when they have clearly demonstrated questionable judgement at naming their establishment) and let him finish outside where he was immediately surrounded by the indigenous wildlife that came to see what all of the fuss was about. He should have received an award for barfing on a squirrel from about 2 meters. We decided that the used Taco Bell bag would be happier if we left it with the squirrel as there were no trash-type receptacles visible so we left it there. After we pulled back onto the highway we saw it sitting alone, soggy and being investigated by possible Sasquatch offspring. We pointed our nose toward Reno and didn't look back or ask questions.

Bite Me!

2008-11-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

I have by far, the nicest husband ever. This evening he came home from work and instead of pinching my rear like he so often is fond of doing, he said "do you want the good news or the bad news?" Please understand that with Whirlpool's uncertain future with Marketstar this was something I dread hearing everyday. So I said to give me the bad news first. Blair said "I'm going to see Quantum of Solace." This actually means that he and his team at work are all going to a movie together as part of the"team building" strategies that Marketstar loves. I think it's just an excuse to keep from giving them bonuses-but I digress. Then I said "so what's the good news?" and he said "I'm not going to see Twilight." Now, just about everyone that knows me knows how much I enjoy the Twilight series of books. I've looked forward to the release of the movie this month and am counting the days until we can see it. So Blair, in all of his husbandly kindness, chose to see the new James Bond flick instead of Twilight without me. He told everyone at work that his wife would kill him if he saw Twilight before I did and he's probably correct. For those of you that aren't familiar with the "Twilight" series, they are novels featuring teenage vampires and mortals that fall in love and all of the fallout from that, etc. etc. ad nauseum et infinitum. The movie comes out in two weeks-woohoo!

2008-11-02T19:29:00.000-08:00

Everyone's heard of "gratitude journals" where you write down everything you're thankful for that day and it's supposed to make you a "gratefuller" person. Oprah Winfrey is a big pusher for gratitude journals and I thought I might take a stab at it even though I think Oprah's long overdue for a large kick in the shorts. Guess I should start with her.

1. I'm thankful that I no longer watch Oprah.
2. Heated seats in the car.
3. Hot Chocolate on cold days.
4. Toilet paper.
5. Insurance.
6. Washers, dryers, dishwashers, microwaves, flat irons, Kitchenaid mixers, Cuisinarts and very sharp knives.
7. Downey fabric softener.
8. Direction from Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost.
9. Central air.
10. Sweet sisters at church that love and support, that try their very best and teach great lessons.
11. Sound mind/sound body (sort of.)
12. A husband that loves me and tells me I'm beautiful even with my gigantic weight problem.
13. Pianos.
14. Forgiving friends.
15. Second chances.

I've Been Tagged

2008-10-13T16:13:00.000-07:00

I guess I've been tagged. I'm supposed to :
1. Post the rules of my blog
2. List 6 random things about myself.
3. Tag 6 more people
4. I don't remember #4.

So my rules are-you must have a sense of humor, you must provide Kendall with some sort of chocolate item at some point in her life and no talking smack about synchronized swimming.

1. I absolutely can't stand it when socks are missing. I feel the same about shoes but when I can't pair up socks, I'll tear the house apart looking for it's mate.

2. I am convinced that Applebee's is by far the worst food on the planet and am at a loss as to why so many people love it. I feel similarly about The Spaghetti Factory.

3. Chocolate makes me high.

4. I aim to become fluent in at least 3 languages.

5. I am certified in CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) and would be a first responder if Ogden ever fell into a pit.

6. Blair says I sing in my sleep.

I hope this provided you with a modicum of entertainment and enlightened your day. Ciao!

p.s. Grant, Laura and Amber-consider yourself tagged.

The Unfortunate Cheese Incident

2008-10-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, sports fans, it's that time once again to recap Kendall and Blair's date night. Due to an unforseen lack of babysitter availability, the last several date nights have been preempted for yard work. (All of the grass is in! Yay!)
Ok, so anyway, tonight found us at the Megaplex attending a showing of "Eagle Eye." A veritable Taj Mahal of cinematic delights including online ticket and seat reservation, the Megaplex offers Pizza Hut, Mayan Express, The Deli and other highly caloric yet very yummy taste treats in their food court. Of course one of the favs would be the Nacho and Plastic Cheese Sauce Platter with a side of jalapenos. We happened to be endulging in a his/hers fav whilst comfily ensconced in our favorite seats (back row middle.) Midway through the show and after decimating dinner, I discovered something gooey on my leg. As you might suspect, some of the plastic cheese had dripped without my knowing. I attempted to clean up with my used napkins but only succeeded in spreading it around. I wonder if plastic cheese makes for good sunblock. After the movie ended and the lights came on I found cheese, now dried and crusty, stuck in my shorts pocket (don't ask), under my shirt and all over my arm. What in the crap is this??? How exactly did I manage this? Maybe God was feeling bored and saw an opportunity. Luckily, the cheese dried to a barely visible sheen so I could sneak away undetected but seriously irritated with the people that sat near us texting and chatting during the entire show. Somehow, the culinary delight that is Nachos has lost some of it's appeal. Maybe I'll do pizza next time. Oh, wait. That has cheese too.

Zen and the Art of Piracy

2008-09-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

According to my calender today is Talk Like a Pirate Day so for all of you mateys out there, "arrrrrr, avast and shiver me timbers! Redistribute the ballast, ye dogs! Hide the rum!" A few years ago my family had a reunion down at Disneyland and we had a great time. Attending were my parents (who also footed the bill for this extravaganza), my brothers and their families and Blair and I with ours. That came out to 9 adults and 7 children. Of course Pirates of the Caribbean was a major priority for the day so when the time came, all 16 of us piled onto the same boat. Now, before you think, so what, you need to know that the shortest person in my family is 5'9" (not including sis-in-laws who are all normal heights.) With the exception of the sis-in-laws and the small children we're, ahem, not small. So here we are climbing into this unfortunate boat, thunk! and situating ourselves when I hear from the back "oops! Better shift the ballast!" That was one of my brother's kind way of saying " we're listing heavily to the port side-redistribute!" Of course that sort of became the theme for the reunion. Dang, I almost felt normal being around my brothers again. I married a man who's shorter than I so for the last 14 years or so I've been the Jolly Pink Giant around his very normal to short sized family. I suppose the enormous weight problem doesn't help my case, either. I prefer to think of it as "Post Childbirth Disaster Figure" which, coincidentally, I am remedying. 12 lbs. down, 56 million to go. Woohoo! Maybe the next time we visit the Magic Kingdom with the entire tribe (now up to 19) we can save the ballast jokes for Mr. Toad's wild ride, savvy?

Frustration Foam

2008-09-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

I had a craft show this weekend and still ended up sunburnt even though I was under an awning the entire time. My feet even ended up with flip flop tan lines. It never ceases to amaze me some of the things people will buy. It never ceases to amaze me what people will make thinking that people will buy. Here, buy a lump of log featuring some kind of perched weed arrangement. No, no! Come over here and buy our "gently used" quilted-hand-me-down-cigarette-smoke-infested LaZboy arm covers. Goes with any decor! One young lady made strange origami cranes out of used notebook paper and was actually surprised when no one bought any. Ummm, hello? I guess you gotta give her points for effort. I think the part I enjoyed the most was watching the people that attended the fair. There was one particular lady that had a stroller containing 2 of her 6 "babies." (That's part chihuahua part yorkie dog- breath yapper dogs to you and me.) This person had chosen to immortalize her "children" in tat form on her back and wheeled around the dogs in their very own pimped out stroller featuring some blingin' 22s. Please allow me to roll my eyes a second time. The worst part of the entire event was the country music played over the loudspeaker. I wouldn't have minded so much if other music was played as well but after 25 renditions of "That's What You Get When You Play a Country Song Backwards" I was startin' to foam at the mouth. Man, I'm glad that's over. I need a break.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2008-09-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

Several months ago my oldest son Karch and I went to the eye doctor together. Just us two, no one else. It was nice to have some one-on-one time together even if it was a trip to the eye doc. Earlier in the day Karch had won a small prize for something at school which turned out to be one of those 5-color-in-one ball point pens. You click the little lever for whichever color you want to use. So there we were sitting in the waiting room when Karch took out the pen to show me and he proceeded to do what all red-blooded American kids do when they have something new...take it apart. This pen was bright yellow and sort of squatty looking so after he unscrewed the top he stuck it on his finger. He turned to me with a maniacal look in his eye and calling upon his inner lounge lizard burst out into song: "Goldfingerrrrrr!" in front of the entire waiting room. Well, this caught me completely off guard as we hadn't seen the movie recently. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time and I'm afraid the other patients may not have been as amused. Luckily, they called our name right about then so we could at least confine our laughter to the exam room. The moment had been utterly perfect and I am still laughing.

Pink Presents

2008-09-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

My sweet baby girl started preschool today and was so excited to use her backpack. (Hello Kitty) She had a great time but decided that she didn't want to tell me what they did. Oooo, such the secret! She turns 4 on Friday. Her birthday gifts are hiding in our crawlspace, waiting for me to wrap them. She is getting one of those play kitchens with a barrel o' plastic food and play cookware. I think as long as she gets something pink, she'll be happy. Last year when we asked her what she wanted for her birthday she said "pink presents." This year she's extended that to purple as well. Ahhh, to be 4 again...

Marriage

2008-08-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

My dearest friend in Seattle just left her husband and my sister-in-law's husband just left her. This all happened within one week. I can't imagine how they must feel as they must repeat the reasons for their circumstances over and over to friends and family. I wonder how I would handle the same situation if, God forbid, it ever happened to me. It's easy to say "well, sister-in-law, you married a guy who cheated on his first wife with you. If theys ain't doin' it with ya, theys doin' it to ya." But that certainly doesn't help any. My heart breaks for my friend in Seattle. She's been with her husband since high school and today she turns 40. (Happy Birthday sweetie-I love you.) A different friend once told me that he heard someone say that marriage should have an expiration date. I thought about that and came to the conclusion that that is a copout. Our marriages are what we make them to be. If they're boring or lackluster, there's no one to blame but the two of you. Do we not take vows and make promises of for better or worse and not just if we're having a funky good time? Now of course there are circumstances that are dealbreakers. I shudder at the thought of them. Maybe we all should do a little less whining take a little more responsibility. We can't change anyone but ourselves including the way we look at things. To my friend and my sister-in-law: bonne chance, ladies. Keep your chin up and have a little chocolate.

Newbie

2008-08-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

This blogging thing is new to me but I figured what the heck.
Recap of date night last night: We didn't do anything. My husband watched a DVD and I did some yard work. He eventually came outside and did the edging while I tried not to rip off my arm and beat my son with it. "But mom, you didn't say mow the side, just the front and the back!" During all of this I became a smorgasbord for about 165 mosquitoes. Usually Thursdays aren't pre-empted for anything but our babysitter was busy and we couldn't think of anything fun to do.